Wow... Just wow... At first view, it's not entirely clear what this item is, so here the description:Dispense paper towels with a wave of your hand!
No more wasted paper towels! The Towel-Matic's sensor-activated control dispenses one sheet, two sheets, or the new half sheet with just a wave of your hand. It never unravels. Built-in optical sensor automatically identifies the perforations on the towel and stops right at the line every time.
This is one of those items that makes me fucking flabbergasted by its uselessness.The customer is expected to spend 60 dollars, so that they can wave their hand and have optical, perforation reading technology unroll an exact square of paper towel. Optical perforation technology - something that someone spent time inventing... you know... instead of trying to cure cancer.
Economic analysis:
Average paper towel price: 6 rolls for 10.49 = $1.74 per roll, 128 sheets each, or 1.37 cents each.
Suppose the towel dispenser avoids 1 wasted sheet every time you tear one (a generous estimate), that saves you 1.37 cents. To save more than 60 dollars, the cost of this machine, you would have to "save" 4,392 sheets of paper. Each paper towel is 11x8 inches, which makes the total area of saved paper 2684 square feet to justify the cost of the dispenser.
The average cost of 700 square feet of condo space in Williamsburg: $500,000, plus $300 a month in maintenance. Just for scale.
This invention makes ripping paper towels seem like an impossibly hard task... to the point where you would have to wonder how people who own this machine manage to put their fucking pants on in the morning?
And in case you didn't think anyone would actually buy it: there's 7 reviews.
Gems:
I have to sometimes turn it off when I have several things on the counter so the dispenser will not distribute more towels.
[editor: Truly it's a small price to pay - not being able to put anything else on the counter - to get exact single sheets of paper towels]
"I thought based off the price this would be the greatest paper towel dispenser ever Well it's not the greatest but it does work."
[editor: please euthanize yourself in the speediest fashion possible. Also, please do not leave a mess for the maid.]
I think that in the short history of this blog, this one item just takes the cake... it's one where everyone involved - the inventor, the marketer, and the customers, should all be immediately removed from the gene pool.
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4 comments:
First of all, yes, I agree, this is all a horrible waste of energy and manufacturing capacity.
However, some points:
1) I don't think the only way to value waste is economically. What about the environmental impact?
2) I think my cats would freakin' love it. Cuz right now, they unroll paper towels with paws and teeth. I think they would much appreciate the convenience of just batting this. Therefore, I'm purchasing it as a cat toy, being the absent cat parent that I am.
3) Ugh, there always has to be a 3 but I just never have a 3.
1) yes, i forgot the amount of petroleum involved in creating the plastics and the precious metals that went into creating the circuitry
2) that's what you need... lazy cats that instead of exercising with pas and teeth, have a machine do it.
You technophobe! Why do you hate technology and the advancement of civilization? If it were up to you we would all still be cooking our own food, clubbing our own mates, starting our own fires, gnomeing our own gardens. If you hate technology and society so much just hitch your wagon of sticks up to your donkey and head out of town. You disgust me.
when the war with the machine comes, and the day arrives when we will all use bottle caps for currency and a single bottle of gasoline would be worth a human life... only then will you understand...
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