A Democratic Presidency

Special thanks to our dear friend at strawbrryf.blogspot.com for discovering an all natural, no-additive alternative to skymall: Harriet Carter.

It's not the same kind of calamitous insanity offered by Skymall, which groups its products using categories such as "I guess that's tangentially useful", "My distant relatives wouldn't HATE this", "What the fuck is this suppose to do?", and "THAT goes in WHERE?" - Harriet Carter offers a different kind of stupid that is far more compartimentalized.

The product featured above is a hat... but the description is most priceless:

SENIOR DISCOUNT CAP says you’re entitled to big-time savings for all your years of spending, spending, spending. Wear it proudly to restaurants, movie theaters, stores, malls—any place that offers senior discounts, as a good-natured reminder that you’ve earned it all. Adjustable; one size fits all.

Now, I have mixed feelings about the hat as a product - that it's more classy than say, the "Honk if you're horny" cap, but at the same time, I feel that you're really limiting your target demographic. However, upon reconsideration - I feel that my reservations about its marketability to those under 65 is shortsighted.

If the description is anything to go by, it's actually a substitute or a comoditization of government identification. You see, by wearing this hat, the government of your respective municipality is granting you the irrevokable (except in the event of hat removal) and unequstionable priviledges afforded to senior citizens. Instead of asking for the senior discount and then wishing you had some way of proving your age besides your ability to recall the bygone days of the Carter administration, you can simply point at the hat. SUCK THAT Teenaged movie theater cashier...

I can only hope no 20-somethings make a mockery of this system by purchasing these hats and wearing them to movie theaters and restaurants, but you can't put it past the youth of today I suppose.